David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
