love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is the high leading the old right now
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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