exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
