That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
