I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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