I'm gonna have a badass scar
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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