i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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