either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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