Christians are straight up FREAKS
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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