Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i now understand why vodka
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
