Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Your penis caused this!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize