good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
