i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
