Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
