But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
