i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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