i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
