There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
