My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
