i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
