His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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