who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
