Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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