I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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