i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
