lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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