so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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