cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
