u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
