I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
