I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
