I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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