Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
