The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
