Can i not drive my cunt home
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize