he thought i was a dude.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
