Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I could make wine with my vomit
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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