I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
