She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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