it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
