I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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