So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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