I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
