I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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