I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
