I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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