She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Come on in and take your pants off
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