I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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