Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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