i permit you to call me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
