Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
