I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Even my vagina gasped.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can I color on your dick again?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
