There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
