so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize