Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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