sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
