You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he thought i was a dude.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
