I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
