he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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