ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize