Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
