In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
