I hate your face
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
