so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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