i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
