in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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