worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize