i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
