Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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