Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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