she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
