i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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