Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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