I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
