Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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