Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dick very happy bro
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
