dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
